Can I Give My Love?
Valentine’s 2024 Devotional
As a celibate guy, I've spent a lot of my life afraid I was missing out on the best versions of love. I grew up watching a magical kiss combat every cartoon evil, so it sure felt like the magic cure for all of life's ailments.
Being convicted to celibacy at 26, then, felt like a forever middle school breakup. I couldn't imagine a life for myself other than nights of crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry's every night with The Devil Wears Prada playing in the background. The movie, not the band.
What a bummer to have such a weak view of God.
A core part of my theology is that God is good. Good in big ways, not some abstract concept. Good like ice cream on a hot day, hot chocolate after a winter storm, or a hug from a far-away friend. Belief in God being so richly good was a real confusing challenge to my feelings about celibacy... Why would a good God call me to something so... frankly, so bad.
John's gospel flies in the face of this... it's the story of Jesus, a single, celibate man, living in tremendous community. It's a story of love - being loved, and giving love. Look how Christ talks to his friends:
"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." — John 15:12-13
Jesus said the greatest love wasn't romantic love at all, but to lay down one's life for one's friends. In doing so, He offered me the heights of human love.
This statement is twofold - firstly, a declaration that in laying down His life for me, Christ has offered me the greatest love. There's something else happening here - something of particular impact for those of us whose love has often been treated as a threat or a liability.
In John 15, I'm offered to not just receive, but to give, the heights of love. As an enneagram 2, one of the greatest prices of celibacy wasn't a lack of love to receive—I was most afraid of having nowhere to give my love. I was afraid this love would waste away, directionless inside of me. In Christ is has thrived.
In this statement, Christ invites me to give the heights of live, and do so freely. Jesus has not forbidden me to love - He has given me love, commanded those around me to love me, and offered me avenues to channel the depths of my love.
This Valentine's Day, I celebrate all the love in our lives. I celebrate the love we receive— in Christ, in the Church, and in our unique community. Specially, I celebrate the love we give. In Christ, I receive, and give, the greatest love... I watch my love grow, not shrink.
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